Be Right Back

2009 May 16
by 强仔

Hello.  It’s been a long time I last wrote.  If you’ve been following this blog (all 3 of you), I sincerely apologize that your office reading material is now lacking mindless rants.

The past couple of weeks have been pretty much filled with very private contemplating which I think it’s inappropriate to post here.  It’s not that I’m hesitant to share, but its very likely that some unwanted eyes would be reading it.  Especially a talkshow host who seems particularly perturbed by what I had to say about his show.

But recently I read a quote that goes something like:

“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” – W.M. Lewis

It’s probably best to leave this post as it is at this point.  I will be working on ironing out the kinks then start living my life.

BRB.

Dear Jon Niermann

2009 March 16
by 强仔

Congratulations on your new show Asia Uncut.  I could barely imagine how immensely exhilarating it must be to move from playing Tigger in Disneyland to head of Walt Disney International Asia Pacific to President of Electronic Arts in Asia Pacific, to now hosting your own talk show.

From your Bio (the picture links are not working, by the way), you’ve spent the last 11 years here in Asia. It must have been an incredible 11 years since Asia has given so much to you, a world apart from your growing years in Illinois and working in a theme park.

I’ll be brutally honest here.  I hate your show.  Watching your show makes me want to slit my wrist and pour the entire contents of my cheap 95-cents bag of china-made salt into my wound.  I hate how your set is decorated in tacky, western-imagined asian motifs.  I hate how of all the talented people in Asia who could possibly host a show called Asia Uncut, you the producer, picked yourself.

It says here that you were inspired by Johnny Carson and you’ve been wanting to produce a Tonight Show-style format for us Asians.  Ever wondered why in the many years of Television here, there’s nothing like it here?  Could it be because it’s not a format that never worked?  Ever watched anything on TV other than CNN and Disney?  If not, maybe you should.  Believe me, even in Shanghai where you live, there are shows that feature international celebrities – just not in the format you like, I suppose.

Edward Said once said that Western knowledge of the East is generated from imagined constructs that everything eastern are fundamentally the same.  Did you think that decorating your set like this could pass off as “Asian”?  Are those little chinese stone lions, the japanese Maneki Neko on your table and the indian-inspired armchair all part of your collective notion of what’s Asian?  I think you might have gone off at a tangent here.  I believe Asian identity in this day and age is no longer just represented by these – we are a lot more international than when you first stepped foot here 11 years ago.  In fact, I don’t even believe it was ever represented to this extent.  I suggest you fire your set designer because I find your notion of “Asian” is nothing more than a stereotypical cliché, made worse by the fact it’s a show with a caucasian host.

Which brings me to you, the host.  I choose to believe you had good intentions with the show.  I’m just unsure why you, the producer, would think a Gwai Lo would make a good host for this show.  Yes, I know it’s probably your childhood dream to have your own talk show and I guess if you were still in America you would probably have no chance because there’s so many like you.  Did you seriously think that we really want to watch a caucasian hosting a show called “Asia Uncut”?  Do you think American viewers in USA would watch a show in primetime called “America Uncut”, hosted by an Asian?  I didn’t think so.

There’s nothing wrong with adopting a Western format for Asian television.  In fact, many of such formats have proved to be very successful.  Take a look at Amazing Race Asia, for example, at least it had an Asian host.  Would I watch Amazing Race Asia if there’s a caucasian host with caucasian guests?  I have a few suggestions for you.  You could either call it “The Tonight Show with Jon Niermann” (but you might get your white ass sued for copying the format), or you should just call it “Expat uncut” because I think new expats in Asia might find the Orientalism all sooooo novel.

I may not be an expert in television nor do I have your years of experience.  But as an Asian viewer that fits right into Star World’s target demographic, I find your show lame by any standards.  I’m sorry but just because it’s filmed in Asia, has a part-Asian crew with a set dressed in Asian motifs and some Asian guests doesn’t make it Asian.  I recommend you step out of your expat circle and get attuned to what’s truly Asian.  Perhaps you should try eating organs for starters.  Most Asians in Asian countries eat organs in one form or another, but I’m sure you know that already since you’re the host of Asia Uncut.

I wish you all the best in your latest endeavor in Asia.  I may not like your show, but I’m sure there are other Asians who do.  If not, at least you have the expats.

Albums That Changed My Life

2009 March 8
tags: ,
by 强仔

Apparently this is going around facebook, but I read it here.  First, instructions:

List 25 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically shaped your world. When you finish, tag 15 others, including me. Make sure you copy and paste this part so they know the drill. Get the idea now? Good. Tag, you’re it!

The challenge: do this in fifteen minutes; as if nobody is judging your answers…

Here’s my list:

1.  The Lizard – Saigon Kick
2. Blood Sugar Sex Magik – Red Hot Chili Peppers
3. Core – Stone Temple Pilots
4. Pornograffitti – Extreme
5. Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band – The Beatles
6. Traveling Without Moving – Jamiroquai
7. Continuum – John Mayer
8. 101 – Depeche Mode
9. Master of Puppets – Metallica
10. Images and Words – Dream Theater
11. The Mission – Ennio Morricone
12. S.C.I.E.N.C.E. – Incubus
13. Grace – Jeff Buckley
14. Dr. Feelgood – Motley Crue
15. Raising Sand – Alison Krauss and Robert Plant
16. The Fragile – Nine Inch Nails
17. Happenstance – Rachael Yamagata
18. Nothing Like The Sun – Sting
19. III Sides to Every Story – Extreme
20. MTV Unplugged in New York – Nirvana
21. Dark Side of the Moon – Pink Floyd
22. The Bends – Radiohead
23. Slave to the Grind – Skid Row
24. The Joshua Tree – U2
25. Purple – Stone Temple Pilots

They’re obviously in no particular order. Amazing how listing these memories bring back memories. III Sides to Every Story is what I listened to every night when I was in BMT. Master of Puppets was my rebellion album back in secondary school. My ex let me listen to Grace and we both wept together when Jeff Buckley passed. Core had “Plush” which my first band used to jam to. I’ve learnt every bassline in Blood Sugar Sex Magik, then I learnt every bassline in Traveling Without Moving.

Go do yours and you might just remember a few things that you’ve forgotten lately.

Easy Vegetable Stock

2009 February 16
by 强仔

Why would a meat-loving omnivore like me bother with vegetable stock when a chicken or beef stock is much sexier?

That’s because wife said to help her draw up a bunch of healthy recipes that are quick and easy to make for weekday afterwork dinners.

So a good stock is in order since it could form the base of so many quick and yummy dishes.  So, just start with:

Ingredients:
2 medium-large onions, roughly cubed
2 medium-large carrots, roughly cubed
3 stalks of celery, roughly cubed
1 whole bulb of garlic, skins removed
1 bay leaf
A few black peppercorns

Roughly hack the vegetables into little cubes, just make sure you washed them thoroughly before.  This is so increase the surface area so we can extract all the nutrients and flavor as fast as possible.  I wasn’t about to spend 4 to 6 hours on Sunday night making stock when I have to work the next day.   A quick tip about the garlic – to remove the skins fast, just cut off the top and bottom of the bulb then flatten the cloves with your knife.  Then pick out the garlic cloves from the resulting rubble of skins.

Put everything in a pot with enough water to cover the vegetables then bring to boil.  Once it starts to bubble, reduce the heat to a gentle simmer.  Cover with a lid and set your kitchen timer to about one hour.  No salt as I prefer full control when I use the stock for actual dishes.

Go watch a bit of TV or something.

An hour later, strain all the vegetables and solids and throw them away.  You can eat the carrots if you want but the rest are quite inedible by itself.  You should have a stock that is a little cloudy with not much color but with a light and fragrant aroma.  You’re done.

There are many ways to keep the stock for future use but just bear in mind that bacteria fester best at temperatures between 5 and 60 degrees celsius so you’ll definitely want to minimize the stock’s exposure to this temperature range.  What I did was to reduce the stock down after removing the vegetables until the volume is reduced to about 1/3 of the original then it’s kept in a few smaller containers then fridged.  Not the best method because the cooling isn’t fast enough so I’ll just have to make sure that when I reheat later in the week, I bring it to boil for a few minutes to kill of any nasties.

So what can you do with a vegetable stock?  That’s another post altogether but here’s some suggestions.  You could cook a chicken breast in it with some pasta (crushed spaghetti works) into a chicken noodle soup.  You could dilute the stock and use it to poach a fish filet, topped with some ginger slices, topped with a splash of heated oil.  Or you could just throw in some chopped vegetables and make your own minestrone.  Or you could poach a chicken breast in the minestrone then top it with a dollop of basil pesto.  

Enjoy.

(sorry, no pics for this food post)

In Repair

2009 February 12
by 强仔

Around this time last year, I was stuck in a terrible rut.  I was severely depressed, going from one bad mood swing into another and getting myself into an extremely sticky situation that I thought would bring me to ruin.  I was utterly, miserably lost and consumed in my own darkness.

Then, a close friend whom I love dearly fought to get me out of this rut.  Despite all the grief that I burdened her with and despite all the hurt, she believed that I can snap out of it.  She knew I had to even when my mind was caught in the web of self defeat and denial.

Tonight as I was on my way home from the airport in a smelly taxi, John Mayer’s “In Repair” played on my random playlist.  I remember I promised her then that this would be the song I sing to myself everyday as I recover from depression and find myself again.  

Many things have changed since then.  Almost one year has passed and now, we hardly even have time to catch up as much as we used to anymore.  Despite how we seemed to have drifted apart living our own lives, this song will always be a reminder of how selflessly kept me strong.  She gave me the strength and encouragement that it’s not impossible restart my life on a blank slate.  She nurtured me when I needed it the most.

As Johnny boy sang,

And now i’m walking in a park 
All of the birds they dance below me 
Maybe when things turn green again 
It will be good to say you know me.

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that I miss you dearly and I’m truly grateful for how you smacked some sense into me.  I’m better now because of you.  I hope you’ll find me again.

*h*